Today I woke up with baby Lola, my brother Aaron’s daughter, and his dog Jake in the bed with me. Jake was as comfortable as could be cuddled in with both Lola and I. Lola, although not used to being rocked, seemed quite content having me rocking her over and over again until it was time to get up and even then I found myself rocking her while watching an inspirational show on TV. As I watched the program, my nieces Devin and Maya, kept themselves entertained by covering Lola and I in every blanket they could find in the house.
During the program I heard the host quote Isaiah 60:1, “Arise from the depression in which circumstances have kept you – rise to a new life. It really caught my attention and reminded that I have been changed and the old me and my old life is now behind me and it is time to start a new life – bandages and all. And for day twenty-five, I will rise to a new life.
I vowed to myself that I would play an active role in my day and joined my brother and the girls and attended their ballet recital. It was a lot of fun to see them dance their routines. Devin and Maya were so proud of their dances and were beaming when I congratulated them on a job well done. The fun didn’t end there. My brother and I decided we would take the three girls out to dinner and then we had a shopping spree at the local candy store. It was such fun to be a part of their day and when it ended I was so sad to say goodbye.
I kissed them goodbye and headed to check in for my flight, my heart was heavy, but I left a better person than when I came. I felt hope for a cure for Preeclampsia due to our trip to the research symposium earlier in the week, I felt loved and supported by my brother, his wife, and his three girls, and felt anticipation to see my own family when I would return home later in the night. And as the plane took off, I sat quietly in my seat thinking about how lucky I really am to have gotten this far. I may not be able to change the ending of losing our daughter, Jonah Wynn, however, I can rise up from my depression and stay in the game by creating a new happy ending, one of a healing heart.
Day Twenty-five: Rise to a new life.