It is so easy to get caught up in the day to day activities life hands us and when something tragic happens we often get hit hard with the reminder that life is short and shouldn’t be taken for granted. I have always known how lucky I am to have such a wonderful family and circle of friends but I have been reminded of this again and again while grieving the loss of Jonah Wynn.
The best advice I received for how to deal with the death of Jonah was to never entertain the “what ifs.” And as much as my thought process would bring me there, the more I fought to push those thoughts away. It was not an option of whether I would or would not entertain it but a matter of having to not go there in order to keep myself from going insane.
Like anything that doesn’t end in the way we dreamed and hoped it is easy to place blame and to feel like our life is unfair, or that we are a victim somehow. However, I learned a long time ago that this path of placing blame or feeling like I am owed something in life was not the path for me.
While watching the Oprah Network last night there was a commercial for their Life Class and she said we need to “change the way we see our life”. I probably have heard this commercial a dozen times, but this time it really resonated. And as much as I sometimes feel like life is unfair, I realize that sometimes bad things just happen and although we want to understand the why’s – we don’t. But rather than sit around and feel victimized I think it is far more important to look at and remember all of the wonderful things that life brings us.
I may not be able to hold Jonah in my arms but I hold her in my heart each and every day and when I need her to, she carries me. I gave birth to Jonah Wynn, I bathed her and dressed her in her very first clothes, I held her, rocked her, studied her, took her to our family home, wrapped her in my Grandmother’s shawl, planned every detail of her burial, and I will continue to love and remember her for eternity. For this I am forever grateful, as it is those moments I will cherish forever. I choose to see my life for all of the beauty it brings and Jonah Wynn will always remain a huge part of this.
Since Jonah Wynn’s birth I have received beautiful emails, cards, and letters. I am blessed with pop in visits from unexpected friends and family. I have talked on the phone for hours with people I haven’t kept in touch with for years. And I look at those that I have taken for granted most of my life like I am seeing them for the first time all over again. I am grateful for all of the wonderful opportunities, people, and support my life has brought me. So, for Day Three of my journey, I felt it was important to foster long lasting friendships.
To honour this, Rion and I had dinner this evening with a very dear friend, Myrna. We spent a couple hours chatting and sharing stories and there I learned some wonderful things that were done in Jonah’s memory. The receptionist at our work received a beautiful plant at her desk this morning and the card left was an Act of Kindness Card for Jonah Wynn. A plate of homemade cookies were brought to one of the departments and Jonah’s card was left with them as well. This really made me feel so proud that Jonah Wynn is being remembered and acts of kindness are being spread all around us. Now this is how I choose to see my life! Thank you Jonah Wynn for reminding me how lucky I am. And thank you to all of my family and friends for being such a huge part of my life.
Day Three: Foster long lasting friendships.